Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
she smelled like a LAN party
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
