I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
