i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
