She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
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she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
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Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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