and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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