we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
