He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
