she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
