laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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