Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
