I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Randomize
