its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Randomize
