I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
