some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
