btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Randomize
