I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
