I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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