READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
