that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
my nose is crying tears of wow.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
