No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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