Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I need a burrito and a hug.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Randomize