if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Randomize
