The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize
