I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
