ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Randomize
