Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Randomize
