yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
