i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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