Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
