i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
You need Xanax blowdarts
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Randomize
