she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
