lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
