I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Randomize
