Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Randomize
