Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Randomize
