I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
