Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
