Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Randomize
