elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
