I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
this is an emotional support booty call
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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