I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Still dying that you shit outside
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
