is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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