I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize
