before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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