She said her name was "party"
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
