I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Randomize
