the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
and she was petting her beer can
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
