she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
