She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Randomize
