It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
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