I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
