Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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