So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize