i just google imaged poop.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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