There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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