would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
