My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
