she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Randomize
