...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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