Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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