Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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