There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
