***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
you didnt know i had herpes?
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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