you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize